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How to make friends abroad: a guide for international students
Making friends abroad is harder in the first few weeks and easier after that, once you understand how it works. The method is simple: show up where people already gather, make the first move, and come back regularly so casual contacts turn into friendships. If you have just landed in a new country and feel like everyone already knows everyone, you are not behind. Most international students around you are in exactly the same position, and many are waiting for someone else to start the conversation.
Why making friends abroad feels harder than you expect
The difficulty is real and well documented, and it passes. Loneliness is widespread among young adults even before they move: in a YouGov survey of US adults conducted in July 2019, 30% of millennials said they always or often felt lonely, and 22% reported having no friends at all. Move to a new country and several pressures stack on top of that baseline, which is why loneliness is consistently more common among international students than among their domestic peers.
Three forces are usually at work. The first is culture shock. Culture shock is the disorientation you feel when the everyday social rules you grew up with no longer apply, from how people greet each other to how quickly they call someone a friend. The second is the language barrier, which makes small talk tiring and can hold back even confident people. The third is what sociologists call the friendship paradox of short stays: local students often already have settled social circles, and some hesitate to invest in a friendship with someone they assume will leave in a few months. The result can be a few isolating weeks at the start. Knowing it is normal, and shared by almost everyone arriving with you, takes away much of its weight.
Get your expectations right before you arrive
Aim for consistency, not an instant best friend. Friendships form through repeated, low-pressure contact, so the goal in your first month is simple: put yourself in situations where you see the same people again and again. One brilliant evening with a stranger you never meet again rarely becomes a friendship. A weekly class, club or training session usually does.
The easiest window of the whole year is the start. During orientation and welcome week, almost everyone is new, no group has formed yet, and saying "I have just arrived and I do not know anyone" is the most natural sentence in the building. Use that period deliberately rather than waiting until you feel ready.
Where to meet people as an international student
You meet people in the places you return to on a schedule. Some channels work far better than others for students.
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Joining a student club is the single most effective move on any campus. Clubs give you a built-in reason to talk, a shared interest to talk about, and a fixed time each week to see the same faces. Pick one or two that genuinely interest you and commit for a term rather than sampling ten and dropping them all. Regular attendance is what turns acquaintances into friends.
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Many schools pair each new international student with a current student who already knows the campus and the city. A buddy gives you a first contact before you even arrive and an easy bridge into a wider group. SKEMA, for instance, assigns a buddy and runs pre-arrival SKEMA Compass orientation modules so that new arrivals start with a contact rather than a blank slate. If your institution offers something similar, sign up early.
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Proximity builds friendships almost on its own. Living in student accommodation or a shared flat puts you near people in the unplanned moments, the kitchen, the corridor, the laundry room, where real conversations happen. If you have the choice, favour options with common areas over isolated studios, at least for your first year.
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Anything you do weekly works. Language exchanges pair you with someone who wants to learn your language while you learn theirs, which gives both of you a reason to meet again. Sports teams and gym classes create repeated contact without the pressure of constant conversation. Volunteering connects you with locals around a shared purpose and helps you understand the place you now live in.
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Use digital tools to start, then move offline quickly. Friendship apps and local interest groups are useful for finding the first event or the first coffee, but a friendship is built in person. Treat an online contact as an invitation to a real-world plan, not a destination in itself.
How to start a conversation, even if you are shy
Most conversations open with a simple, low-stakes question about the shared situation. You do not need a clever line. In a class, ask how someone found the session. At an event, ask what brought them there. In a new city, ask for a recommendation, a café, a place to run, a market worth visiting. Open questions that invite a real answer work better than yes or no questions.
If you are introverted, play to your strengths instead of forcing yourself into large parties. Structured settings with a built-in activity, a club, a workshop, a small study group, are far easier than open social events, because the activity carries the conversation. And do not underestimate honesty: telling people you have just arrived and are still finding your feet is disarming, and it gives them an easy way to help.
Turn first meetings into real friendships
This is the step most people skip, and it is where friendships are won or lost. After a good first conversation, follow up within a day or two with a specific, easy plan: a coffee, a study session, a walk, a match to watch. Keep it small and concrete. The point is repetition, not intensity. Three short, casual meetups will do more than one ambitious outing. Taking the initiative can feel awkward, but the person you met is usually relieved that someone else made the move.
Do not get stuck in the bubble
The most comfortable mistake is to socialise only with people from your home country. That community is reassuring and genuinely useful when you arrive, but if it becomes your whole world, your language stagnates and you stay on the outside of local life. Aim for a balanced circle. International friends offer instant understanding and practical help; local friends open the door to the culture, the language and a lasting sense of belonging. You need both, and the second takes more deliberate effort.
Reading the social codes of a new culture
Friendship works differently from one country to the next, and what feels cold is often just unfamiliar. Norms vary around invitations, punctuality, physical distance, humour, and how long it takes before someone counts as a close friend. In some cultures people are warm immediately but slow to commit; in others the reverse. Watch how things work before judging them, and read what feels cold as unfamiliar rather than unfriendly.
Where to find support if you feel isolated
Feeling lonely in your first months abroad is common, not a personal failure, and asking for help is the sensible response. International offices exist precisely to help you settle, and most institutions offer wellbeing and mental health support. SKEMA, for example, runs SKEMA KARE student wellbeing services covering mental health support and dedicated points of contact. If low mood lasts beyond the usual settling-in period, reach out early rather than waiting for it to pass on its own.
The long-term payoff: a global network
The friendships you build abroad outlast your studies and shape your career. Adapting to a new environment and building a diverse circle develops exactly the intercultural skills that international employers look for: adaptability and the ability to communicate across cultures. Those student friendships also become a professional network that spans countries, opening doors to referrals and opportunities in markets you would not otherwise reach.
It is one reason a multi-campus education pays off socially as well as academically. With campuses across several continents and students of around 130 nationalities, an international school turns making friends abroad into part of the everyday experience rather than an obstacle to overcome. You can see how that translates across the undergraduate and postgraduate programmes on offer.
Frequently asked questions
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Start with structured, repeating activities rather than waiting for chance encounters. Join one student club, sign up for a buddy programme, and use the orientation period when everyone is new. Then follow up with the people you meet so first conversations turn into regular contact.
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Both, in balance. Other international students are easy to bond with early because you share the experience of arriving. Local students take more effort but give you real cultural integration and language practice. Avoid relying only on one group.
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Yes. Fluency is not required to connect, and most people appreciate the effort of a few words. Language exchanges, clubs based on activities, and a willingness to make mistakes are enough to build friendships while your language improves.
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Often a few months. The first weeks are usually the hardest, and a sense of belonging tends to build gradually through repeated contact. If you are consistent about showing up, most students feel noticeably more settled within a term.
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Treat it as normal and act early. Add one more regular activity to your week, reach out to a buddy or classmate with a specific plan, and use your school's international office or wellbeing services. Persistent low mood is worth raising with a professional rather than waiting it out alone.
Start small, start this week
Building a social life abroad comes down to four repeatable steps: show up where people gather, start the conversation, follow up quickly, and keep coming back. Do not judge your progress by your first fortnight. Pick one concrete action this week, join a single club or message one person you met at orientation, and let the rest build from there. If you are still choosing where to study, you can apply to SKEMA and step straight into an international community where this is the norm.
